Being boring

I hate Mondays. Of course, in Milborough, Mondays seem to go on all week. I was getting ready to go to school this morning when Charles Wallace said, "Why is the guy who dumped you sitting on the front porch? He must be stupider than I thought." The little twerp was right: Ed was out front. I went out to see what he wanted. It turned out he wanted to show me his car.
"Like my car? Dad just got it for me since I told him I wanted to be a lawyer," Ed said. I told him that yes, it was a nice car (although as it was a Crevasse convertible, molten lumps of lead were better looking). Then Ed asked if I could put in a word with my father to get him a job for the summer. "I can't work at the library anymore now that I'm over 18." At that point I saw Duncan approach the house, see Ed, and then walk away very quickly. Stupid Ed. He can't even get his father to buy him a decent car. I had to find Duncan to explain, but he seemed pretty elusive all morning. I couldn't find him until after lunch. I took him to the janitor's closet to explain.
"Yes, I know that was my ex-boyfriend, but all he wanted to do was show me his car and ask me to ask my father to try to find him a job. It's a stupid car, too." Duncan looked happier at that.
"That's good," he said. "Eva says guys just have to have a good horse, and they strap on cars just like horses."
"That doesn't make any sense. You don't strap on a horse, and you don't strap on a car. Eva really is confused about similes, or obsessed with strap-on items, or something." Duncan said that Eva confuses him a lot. I think it's because her breasts always seem to be at his eye level.