Formal feeling

I feel more depressed than ever. I hate holidays, I hate outdoor activities, and I hate myself.
After the disaster of the picnic on Monday, Enid and her boyfriend kept pointing out that it wasn't really all that nice to throw Duncan off the ferry at Hanlan's Point. Yes, they were right, but they didn't have to keep on telling me. Enid said that even though the whole phone message thing showed Duncan was kind of stupid at times, he didn't actually do anything wrong, and it wasn't his fault Kimmi was psycho. They thought Bambi sounded funnier than I did.
At work yesterday I didn't have to see him much, since I was getting trained at the front desk. When I wasn't checking out books, or checking them in, I had to deal with Charles Wallace, who was mad at me since I wasn't speaking to Duncan and I hadn't let him light as many fireworks as he wanted.
"Fireworks hog," he said. "And you're being mean to Duncan."
"Well, his behaviour was really hurtful. And now he's making me talk like Kimmi. I hate that, too." Charles Wallace stomped off quietly and I spent the next hour trying not to look at Duncan. Then Ed showed up.
"Hi Sandra, I thought I'd find you here. What are you doing after work?" Duncan was in the storage room staring right at me, and right then I found myself telling Ed I wasn't doing anything, thank you, and what was he doing? Ed and I left the library together, and I'm pretty sure Duncan saw.
Ed drove around aimlessly for a bit so I could have a good look at his new car, and then he said that he missed the bars in Kingston and he finally found something like them here. As he said this, we pulled up to the Waltzing Weasel. We walked in and the barman said hello to me, and then came over and asked where "the old man" was.
"He'd be cross if I didn't give you this," he said, and brought me a half shandy. Ed looked confused. We sat down, and he proceeded to tell me all about Queens University, Kingston, and how wonderful he was. I was getting fairly bored, and even more depressed than I was when I woke up. Ed broke the monologue with a trip to the bar, and on returning said,
"Why is there a Polaroid of you with your little brother, with both of you waving Swiss flags next to some high school kid and an old man?" That was it.
"Ed, they're English flags. I've been here on average of once a week since the World Cup started, and I actually enjoyed being here with my little brother, except when Portugal beat England. And the high school kid is my boyfriend." Ed looked stunned in a startlingly arrogant way, and tried to talk me into staying out later with him. "Oh, go screw yourself, Ed, and while you're at it screw Zenia. It's not like you haven't done it before."
"How'd you know?" I didn't answer, but asked the barman to call me a cab. I left Ed at the table staring at a pint of Export (with the bar staff laughing at him a little). I had to let Duncan know I wasn't mad at him anymore, and I had to do something fast.