Far from the madding crowd

I knew last Friday that Arne had returned, but not any details. My mother and father left for Florida soon afterward. Charles Wallace wasn't speaking to me, or at least wasn't speaking directly. He stuck to reading aloud from Duncan's posts on April's blog.
"I get the point. He's having a great time, made even greater by the fact that I'm not there," I said. Duncan was being really nasty at this point in his posts. Wilco got agitated and ran to the front door right then. "What's wrong, Wilco," I asked. Charles Wallace opened the door and Arne strode in. "Oh, that's what's wrong."
"Hey, sorry, I've got to stay with you guys for a few days," Arne said.
"Why now? I'm miserable, he's a pest, only Wilco's perfectly bearable," I said.
"Hey, your life may be in the shit, but I'm really in trouble. Ivar's closed the building for construction, rewiring, health code violations, you name it, it's happened to the Three Kronen. Oh, there's no karaoke this week, so you're out $15 bucks or however much he was giving you."
"What?"
"Some moron shoved a plastic doll in the Three Kronen's septic system, which set off the water sprinkler system, which shorted out the wiring, which started a fire, which burned out the kitchen, which happens to be right under my apartment. So it's either here or the car, and it's cold outside." There wasn't much to say at that point. I went to help Arne get his Maritimes souvenirs out of the car and into the basement.
"What did you do, buy every plastic lobster in Nova Scotia?"
"I need them for an illusion I've been working on. I need a place to practise it, preferably a closed business with a big parking lot."

Let be the finale of seem

My mother and father got back from Florida last night. At least they enjoyed themselves. As they were pulling into the driveway, Arne ran in at the back door.
"I'm not here, you don't know me, and don't mention the Dairy Queen," he said, and ran into the basement. About a minute or so later, my father asked why Arne's car was parked in the Stewarts' driveway.
Charles Wallace and I were watching Labyrinto de los novios with Wilco in the living room.
"Sandra, why are you and your brother watching something in Spanish?" my mother asked.
"Oh, no reason," I said. Wilco was happier with this episode than he was with the last one. There were still shards from the vase scattered in front of the television from that one. Luckily my mother didn't see them. She told us to make sure Wilco didn't go to sleep on the couch and went upstairs to unpack. After Labyrinto de los novios I changed the channel to CP24. The lead story was about a flash fire hitting a Dairy Queen in a southern Ontario suburb.
"Do you think..." Charles Wallace started.
"That this has something to do with Arne? Of course," I said. But why burn a Dairy Queen during the off-season?

Something must break

Time crawls when you’re not having fun. I noticed this during March Break in Florida two years ago, and it’s happening now. It’s been a long week. School drags, since March break is about to start. My mother and father are going to Florida for Spring training, and whatever my mother does whenever my father is watching baseball games that don’t count and making endless notes about them. They leave on Sunday morning, and I’m left with Charles Wallace for the week.
Charles Wallace, for his part, has been reading aloud from April’s blog for me. I gather from his interpretive readings that I’m not supposed to be reading the blog firsthand.
“I’m not reading this, you’re reading it to me. What does Duncan have to complain about?” I said to my brother.
“You broke up with him. You’ve made him listen to that weird music with the whining guitar in it—he kept singing about walking after midnight, and having the lovesick blues, and that he’ll have to go.”
“Country. Damn.”
Zapata maneuvered Jeremy into giving her tickets for a show this week. We all went, since Zapata out-maneuvered herself and Jeremy came up with more comps. Then she kind of got him to go to 300 tonight, but Eldritch decided to go too so Zenobia and I went along. Zapata really got into the Persian soldier killing. She kept poking me and saying, “Look, he’s got purple lips! He’s got to go!”
“Shut up, Zapata,” Eldritch said. “I can’t hear the movie.”
“I’m supporting my friends, so live with it,” Zapata said.
I felt really worn out after the movie, but I had to go do karaoke at the Three Kronen. Zenobia, Zapata, Eldritch, and Jeremy came along. It was the same as usual: a lot of people doing inappropriate Abba songs, and Wilco getting giddy on carrot shooters. At the end of the evening Duncan turned up. Luckily Zenobia was in the washroom right then, and Zapata and Eldritch were doing the evening’s one non-Swedish song. As Zapata sang, “I Got You Babe,” Duncan started to argue with Jeremy. I was at the bar with Wilco. Jeremy was getting angry, Duncan was angry, and I had to hold Wilco back from doing his newest form of self-defense. Jeremy and Duncan went over to the broken cigarette machine, and Ivar came over to talk to me once they started arguing really loudly.
“I feel really bad about this, since you’re a nice girl, but I have to let you go. I can’t have this drama happening every week with karaoke—it scares the regulars." Right then Duncan yelled, "Stay away from my ex-girlfriend," and slipped on a beer puddle. Ivar sighed. "Your uncle had something, I’m not sure what…” Right then a voice behind us said,
“Magic, perhaps?” I smelled the distinctive odor of lighter fluid. Arne was back.

Towards the within

Zenobia decided that yesterday was a good time to go see Zenia. I reminded her that Zapata had tried that the day before.
“Zapata said that that was Eva’s idea, and Eva screwed it all up. This time, I’m driving. We need to get some books from their library anyway. Remember the history project I keep on putting off?”
“All right. I’ll go with you two, but I don’t expect anything good to come out of it.” Trying to reason with Zenia was like trying to reason with an avalanche. I had no idea of what we were trying to do, besides. I still felt hungover, but this was something to do. I went downstairs and waited to Zenobia to pick me up. Charles Wallace was acting more secretive than usual, and ducked into the kitchen when he saw me. I had left Wilco upstairs with the computer, since the cat was wandering around; I didn’t know what Wilco would do to Blake if he got mad.

We picked up Zapata and drove out to the university. Mackenzie Bowell was out in the middle of a dairy field or something about ten minutes out of Milborough. The university had a tower, a few ultra modern connected buildings, and a series of high-rise student residences. We parked in the visitors lot at Picton Hall and went to find Zenia. Zapata pointed out where Eva had insisted on hiding near the entrance.
“Supervillain relatives my ass. She just wanted to drag Duncan out of Zenia’s bed herself.” Zenobia called up to Zenia’s room. After a minute or so, she turned around and said that Zenia’s room was on the sixth floor and she’d be waiting.

Zenia was waiting at her door. “Well, it’s the Three Gothkateers: Charlotte Brontë, Trinity, and…” Zenia stopped there, squinted at Zapata, and continued, “Evil Willow. What’s brought you here to MacBowell?” She was perfectly dressed, as always.
“You know what it is, Zenia,” Zapata began.
“Oh, that. I thought you’d be happy that I waited until you were through with him, Zandra. I won’t be needing him anymore, if you were wondering.” The three of us looked at each other. Zenia spoke again. "I don't suppose any of you will be joining me here this fall." We nodded. "Let me guess: Zandra--the University of Toronto. Victoria or Trinity?"
"Trinity."
"And Zenobia. Waterloo, but is it computing or engineering?" Zenobia said computing. Zenia squinted a bit at Zapata again. "I give up. I've never been able to figure you out."
Zapata smirked a bit, then said, "Trent. Cultural studies. With Eldritch."
"Well, didn't see that one coming. You still haven't told me why you're all here on a Sunday. What gives?" Zenobia and I stared at each other, while Zapata started glaring at Zenia.
"You know what it is--stay away from Jeremy Jones." Zenobia and I traded confused looks.
"That's what you got us out here for? Jeremy's a great guy and all, but I think he can take care of himself. He's survived a hell of lot Milborough's thrown at him," I said.
"You keep your hands off him, too," Zapata said.
"I'm leaving right now," Zenobia said. "Zenia, we'll discuss that science project later." Zenobia started to drag Zapata down the hallway.
"Zandra, wait a minute," Zenia said.
"All right," I said.
"Sorry about Duncan and all that. I didn't think he'd get so attached to me so fast. But isn't this better?"
"Better than what? He's grounded, he hates me, he's in a pit of despair..."
"It lacks a bit of finesse, I know, but now you won't go and get back together with him and have a nastier bit of breaking up to do later. It's better this way." Zenia had her reasons, hard as they might be to figure out. The only thing consistent was the ruthlessness.
I caught up with Zenobia and Zapata in time for the argument.
"Seriously, Zapata, you can't put dibs in on every male in the high school. You've already got a boyfriend, so why do you need backup?"
"Jeremy's mine, not yours, and not Zandra's. I may not tutor him, but I understand him." That was arguable, but I wasn't going to say anything about it. Zenobia fumed as she drove us back to Milborough.
I got home and found a mess in my room.
"Charles Wallace, you fed Wilco on my bed!" My brother came out from his room.
"You weren't using it, so I thought it would keep his kibble out of Blake's way."
"You fed him on my floor, too. What's going on?" Charles Wallace went back to his room, chuckling sinisterly. I tried to clean the kibble up. I don't think I succeeded, since Jeremy pointed out I had some in my hair when I got to school. Damn.

Call this firepile a home

I wandered downstairs around noon. I needed another bottle of water, since it wasn't likely anyone was going to get me a bottle of Chateau Screwtop right then. My parents were in the family room reading the paper.
"Do I have to go back to school on Monday? I got my university acceptance," I said.
My parents said that yes, I had to go back. "What if I can't? I don't want to see anyone, I feel awful, I get anxiety attacks just thinking of being at school now."
"Well, Sandra, you probably should think about going back to the therapist, not the one the school had you go to, but the one you went to before," my father said.
"I hate therapy. All they want to do is fix me," I said. My mother looked worried.
"Maybe I should ask Miranda to ask Duncan to tone down his online writing," she said.
"No, she already knows we've got an overly-emotional daughter: Sandra, just don't read it," my father said. "This is just standard teenage drama, and you'll get over it."
"Like Mom got over you never doing anything stupid and romantic for her?" I asked. My father was being more rational than he needed to be.
"She's right, Don. I remember how I was at her age."
"Emily, you were agonizing over your MCATs at her age. When I met you, you seemed more grounded than any other girl at university," my father said. My parents were slowly heading towards another argument, but I didn't care; I waited to see if my mother was going to rise to the bait. She did.
"Don, you just weren't paying any attention. You never picked up on anything then, and you're just trying to rationalize everything now." I went back to my room to let them argue it out. Charles Wallace wandered by a bit later.
"You did it again. Now they'll stay mad all weekend."

I'm so sorry I'm cardiac baggage

I was feeling a bit better until Charles Wallace came in.
"Look what you did," he said accusingly, and then he moved Wilco from in front of the computer.
"What did I do? I've been throwing up or passing out for the past day," I said. "Is Zenobia mad that I vomited her present?" Charles Wallace read from Duncan's posts on April's blog.
"You snitched on him. Why did you do it?" my brother asked.
"I did not snitch on him. I told Mom Duncan was with Zenia. She said that wasn't too upsetting, but then Wilco brought some stuff up on the computer...Hey, Wilco did it!"
"Nice try, but nobody's going to believe the rabbit did it," Charles Wallace said. He was right. I was the catalyst, and now Duncan lost his March break trip and was probably grounded for life or something. Then Charles Wallace read the comment Duncan made on my previous post. "Do you really only care about getting into U of T?"
"Great. I need another large bottle of cheap wine," I groaned.

The reptile house

I feel like I've had a ten-tonne truck crash into me. It's a few steps up from yesterday. Wilco's been tapping on an envelope on my desk for a few minutes now. I forgot to look at the mail.

Now I feel a lot better. I got accepted into U of T, so I'll be at Trinity College this fall. Now I've got to sort out what residence to live in, since I doubt my parents will let me live off campus until second year. I guess Zenia's right: I'm too concerned about school to do anything serious revenge-wise. I wonder what's happened to Duncan so far. The longest Zenia's ever given a guy was about three days before the brutal dumping experience.

My teeth feel like they've got little cashmere sweaters on them. I need another bottle of water.

The better part

Zapata just called, saying something about a posse. I got really dizzy and got off the telephone quickly. It sounded like more like something Eva would come up with, actually, since Zapata would just want to round up a mob. I need another bottle of water.

Just like everybody else does

I feel horrible. Part of that is from drinking the entire 1.5 litre bottle of Bull's Blood Zenobia gave me for my birthday. She said she asked her sister Serena to pick it up in the States for me. It tasted great the first time, at least.
I couldn't hold it together any more. I knew I'd broken up with Duncan, and I started all this, but I didn't know what to do about Zenia and then Zenia sort of threw it all in my face again when I went to Tim Horton's on Sunday. I couldn't talk to anyone and couldn't really face seeing anyone, so I left school once my last real class was over and went home. It seemed like the best time to drink a lot of Hungarian wine. I had a couple shots of the Bailey's Irish Cream my parents left in the fridge, too. I didn't care.
I think I must have left my bedroom door open, since after a while I felt hopping on the floor next to me. I collapsed and was crying, I think. I know I was on the floor. After a bit my mother was suddenly there, and she picked me up off the floor and helped me into bed right before I had to throw up. I think Wilco was there in the bathroom with me, but I'm not sure.
My mother said that I kept on saying Duncan was at Zenia's for the weekend, but she didn't think that was all that bad until Wilco hopped up to my computer and found her the website with her after school photos. My mother admitted that she isn't up to date with her university strippers, and decided to call Duncan's mother. Right now I'm in bed, with Wilco sitting on the desk watching me and posting to the Labyrinto de los Novios board. I may sit up and watch the show with him later.