In the country of lost things

We lost the cat. Funny thing was, we didn't know we had the cat with us. Charles Wallace said, somewhere near Mississagua, "There's a cat in here." We told him he was imagining things. Then he announced what the cat looked like. At that point, Duncan said, "It's Faustus." Duncan didn't know why Faustus was in the van, and he was really concerned not to go near Faustus. Faustus seemed like a nice cat. He let Charles Wallace pet him. We arrived in Mississagua, and actually found the city centre. We got out of the van, and were careful, we thought, to leave the cat in the van. Enid left the windows open just enough for air, and her boyfriend got a waterdish in the van (with water) before he locked up. But it seems we lost the cat. Charles Wallace kept on pointing out where a large black cat seemed to just have been throughout the afternoon. The cat hit the best rib vendors before we did. I think the newspapers got interested, since Charles Wallace did an interview about the cat after we hit the fifth rib stand. Duncan is really upset about the cat. He keeps putting his head in his hands and saying, "Man oh man, I lost the cat again."
We stayed in Mississauga as long as we could looking for his cat. I just hope Duncan had him chipped.

The stubborn structure

Duncan's suddenly obsessed with going to Ribfest in Mississauga. I have no idea why: he's never expressed an interest in either ribs or Mississauga. He called this morning to try to get me to go, too, and he was looking for someone to drive. He suggested I call Enid.
When I called Enid, she said she'd just been about to phone me. Her boyfriend's got a van for the weekend since they're coming to Milborough to drop off some chairs my aunt had refinished for my mother. She mentioned Ribfest to her boyfriend and he got really excited. Enid warned me that he'd probably eat the ribs ironically, but that's not important.
Then Charles Wallace decided he wanted to go, too. He heard that Ribfest was at the Mississauga City Centre. "Mississauga has no centre, so where can it be?" My parents thought that sending the two of us to Mississauga for the day was a great idea. After we got the chairs out of the van when Enid and her boyfriend got here, we left to pick up Duncan.

Melt

It's been around 35 degrees all week, and there's no letting up. At least the library is somewhat cooler. Charles Wallace has been whining since the school where the play workshop is being held has no air conditioning, and no fans. I'm glad he's keeping busy, since he's been a bit of a pain lately.
"Sandra, you write like Michael Patterson," he said this morning.
"I do not. I don't use alliteration and assonance, for one thing," I replied.
"Well, you jump around stories just like he does. I read your blog, and you've gone from breaking up with Duncan to being back together and you didn't explain how you went from one to the other. Michael Patterson does that all the time in his play, and in the part of the novel you read to me." I didn't want to admit it, but he was sort of right. I left out getting back with Duncan.
I couldn't think of any other way to do it, so I left a note in a book and then left an anonymous request for Duncan to go get that book off the shelves. He read the note, and then at lunch break I explained how bad I felt, and how Enid and her boyfriend and even Charles Wallace were mad at me and how awful the date with Ed was. Duncan was really happy, and I was happy, and we had a long walk that night.
Then this week Duncan kept getting upset by Michael Patterson hanging around me so much. I kept on telling him that I'm not interested in creepy married guys, but he kept getting annoyed at him. Of course, it was Michael Patterson's own fault he got thrown out of the library.

Formal feeling

I feel more depressed than ever. I hate holidays, I hate outdoor activities, and I hate myself.
After the disaster of the picnic on Monday, Enid and her boyfriend kept pointing out that it wasn't really all that nice to throw Duncan off the ferry at Hanlan's Point. Yes, they were right, but they didn't have to keep on telling me. Enid said that even though the whole phone message thing showed Duncan was kind of stupid at times, he didn't actually do anything wrong, and it wasn't his fault Kimmi was psycho. They thought Bambi sounded funnier than I did.
At work yesterday I didn't have to see him much, since I was getting trained at the front desk. When I wasn't checking out books, or checking them in, I had to deal with Charles Wallace, who was mad at me since I wasn't speaking to Duncan and I hadn't let him light as many fireworks as he wanted.
"Fireworks hog," he said. "And you're being mean to Duncan."
"Well, his behaviour was really hurtful. And now he's making me talk like Kimmi. I hate that, too." Charles Wallace stomped off quietly and I spent the next hour trying not to look at Duncan. Then Ed showed up.
"Hi Sandra, I thought I'd find you here. What are you doing after work?" Duncan was in the storage room staring right at me, and right then I found myself telling Ed I wasn't doing anything, thank you, and what was he doing? Ed and I left the library together, and I'm pretty sure Duncan saw.
Ed drove around aimlessly for a bit so I could have a good look at his new car, and then he said that he missed the bars in Kingston and he finally found something like them here. As he said this, we pulled up to the Waltzing Weasel. We walked in and the barman said hello to me, and then came over and asked where "the old man" was.
"He'd be cross if I didn't give you this," he said, and brought me a half shandy. Ed looked confused. We sat down, and he proceeded to tell me all about Queens University, Kingston, and how wonderful he was. I was getting fairly bored, and even more depressed than I was when I woke up. Ed broke the monologue with a trip to the bar, and on returning said,
"Why is there a Polaroid of you with your little brother, with both of you waving Swiss flags next to some high school kid and an old man?" That was it.
"Ed, they're English flags. I've been here on average of once a week since the World Cup started, and I actually enjoyed being here with my little brother, except when Portugal beat England. And the high school kid is my boyfriend." Ed looked stunned in a startlingly arrogant way, and tried to talk me into staying out later with him. "Oh, go screw yourself, Ed, and while you're at it screw Zenia. It's not like you haven't done it before."
"How'd you know?" I didn't answer, but asked the barman to call me a cab. I left Ed at the table staring at a pint of Export (with the bar staff laughing at him a little). I had to let Duncan know I wasn't mad at him anymore, and I had to do something fast.

Religious as hell

Charles Wallace filled me in on what he found about Arne's Canada Day rampage yesterday afternoon.
"Well, Arne did the flaming water trick in front of the statue of Queen Victoria downtown, and managed to do something to corrode her left arm. He said he was reclaiming his territory as Milborough's finest illusionist. Then he did something with the dry ice in front of the police station. He tried to do the trick with the doves next, but the doves died or something and he was right in front of the Humane Society's information table."
"Not good."
"Then he did the Wall of Canada trick in front of the Three Kronen, but nothing happened there since Ivar said that Arne's paid about twenty years worth of rent, and then on his way here he did the Rampaging Dust Devil trick. I think he scorched all the front lawns between the Three Kronen and here." I had more coffee, and thought about how happy I was passed out yesterday afternoon, until Charles Wallace dumped water on me. He claimed Duncan told him to do it. Duncan wanted me up so we could go to the Vatikan for its last night. I got dressed fast and met Duncan and April at the GO station. I was still a little shaky. Someone on the train near us pointed at me and said, "Those suburban goth kids--they really get into it." Duncan said I just looked really, really pale instead of just really pale. We got to the Vatikan and I went to get something to drink. When I got back to Duncan and April, they were both looking horrified. A nun had walked into the club.
"I think she's lost," I said.
"No, she's not lost, it's Kimmi," Duncan said unhappily. "She's come after me."
"Great--Becky McGuire leaves, with Cowboy Eva with her, and you still have exes coming out of the walls. And didn't she have a vocation or something?" Duncan nodded.
"That's what she wrote..."
"But who knows what it's a vocation for," April said. Kimmi certainly looked more like that fighting nun character than Mother Theresa.
"Duncan, I've waited for you," Kimmi screamed as she ran over. Duncan tried to go under the table. "Come on, let's go."
"No you don't, he's here with me," I said. April said something about energy drinks and went up to get a few right then.
"OK, dead girl, give me back my boyfriend," Kimmi said. She started twirling her rosary menacingly.
"He's mine, and don't threaten me," I said. The only advantage I had over Kimmi right then was height, as I was still hungover. I meant to just stare at her, but I lurched over the chair and almost fell into her. Kimmi screamed again, and Duncan took off for the men's room. "You left him, you told him you had a vocation, and you broke his heart. Don't expect to just pick him up like that," I added. April then got a text message from Duncan--he was going to the squat. "All right, April, we're getting a cab." We ran out the door, and hailed a taxi. Kimmi jumped in with us.
"I have to find my MCDunC..."she stared. She wouldn't get out, no matter what I told her, until I threatened to leave her under the Gardiner if she didn't shut up. We got to the squat, and I went in first.
"Duncan? It's safe to come out," I called. April walked in next, and got hit by the smell.
"Dunc, toilet paper wasn't enough," she said. Then we both stopped at the same time. Duncan was huddled in a corner, with Bambi trying to get him to come out.
"Is she using the peanuts or her breasts?" April asked.
"God, I hope it's the peanuts," I said. Kimmi ran in next, then the squeegie gang ran out. "How scary can a fake nun be?" Duncan was still in the corner. April and I went over to him, and he started to explain that the squeegie gang was being bothered by some separate high school downtown (Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow, I think he said it was) that wanted to rehabilitate them for their community service hours. Kimmi just looked stunned. We couldn't think of anything else to do, so we went back to the Vatikan and tried to enjoy its last night ever. Kimmi had gone off somewhere else by then. We got back into Milborough really late (or really early, depending on how you wanted to read the clock) and I was soundly out until Charles Wallace woke me up.

Absence, havoc

Charles Wallace is making me get out of bed again. He says he's lonely.
"No one's around except you, Sandra," he said.
"Where's Mom and Dad?"
"At Dad's office. They're trying to install the new tax tables and Mom's got a bunch of programs downloaded they hope will have the right Java platform."
"And grandad?"
"I had to disable his computer so he wouldn't send threatening email to Wayne Rooney."
"Good, Charles Wallace. Having one relative wanted by the police is enough." Charles Wallace was serious about being lonely--he even made me coffee. I got my robe on and we went downstairs.
We sat in the kitchen and looked out over the backyard. My father had put the barbecue back together yesterday afternoon, but the tree near the fence still looked pretty bad, with half its bark blown off. The rose bushes were fairly shredded, too. Charles Wallace's supply of fireworks was still near the sink, poor guy. I told him I'd help him light them tonight.
Everything started on Saturday morning. My grandfather thought it would be a good idea to have everyone watch the England game together. Unfortunately right then my mother had a medical emergency come up and my father remembered that he had to reset everything since the GST went down that day. So it was only me, Charles Wallace, and Duncan who went with my grandfather back to the Waltzing Weasel for the game. England lost on penalty kicks, after a 0-0 game, and the bar cleared out really fast after the game. My grandfather went straight to the basement with a six-pack of lager when we got in. At least he had cover that afternoon.
The Andersons arrived around 2, as did April. My mother had assured Mrs. Anderson that Arne would not show up, and Mr. Anderson seemed happy to be in a place where no-one talked about trains. I asked April some questions about her brother, and Charles Wallace played Scrabble on the patio with Duncan and Mrs. Anderson. Things continued on fairly quietly until right after my father took the burgers off the grill.
Arne had vaulted over the garden gate, with a strange cloud behind him. My father dropped the barbecue tongs.
"Arne, you said you were going on tour with Torvald's roadshow!" My father was really getting angry at that point.
"I'll meet the tour later--Torvald doesn't know I'm turning up. I thought I was in for the long haul with Magician's Block, but it's over--I'm an illusionist again!" Aside from the cloud behind him, he seemed normal enough. My father cautiously invited him over and we all settled down again.
I think it all really started when Arne went in to mix drinks. He wasn't very clear on what they were, but the mess on the kitchen counter pointed to them being green-flavour drink-crystal based. It seemed safe enough. It was getting pretty hot, so the Andersons, April, and I stuck to whatever Arne was producing in the pitcher. Around the time Charles Wallace was about to start lighting his fireworks, Arne looked up, checked his watch, and said, "It's time." I distinctly heard a police siren in the distance then. Arne announced that, in honour of Canada Day, he was going to make the maple tree near the back fence disappear.
"Why make the maple tree disappear?" April asked. Obviously it wasn't a time for logic.
"I had a dream about all this last night. You were in it, and you..." My father cut Arne off there.
"You said that the last time you passed out watching The Wizard of Oz."
"No, Don, this is true. Something came to me--some sort of magician-guide guy--and told me to face my fears, and I would be worthy of my illusionist name."
"What, Man Who Causes Property Damage?" I had to ask.
"You may mock, family members and neighbours, but I have got it back." And he then started warming up with the moves he learned from the Power Rangers film. "Where once was a tree, now there is OH HELL WHERE THE ***K DID THAT LIGHTER FLUID COME FROM" He hadn't backed away from the barbecue yet, and my father had it on low so Charles Wallace could make s'mores. The lighter fluid went out in a flaming arc from his sleeve to the tree. Arne turned in the other direction, but managed to make the flame run from his other sleeve to the pitcher on the table.
"That's not cheap drink crystals!" April shouted. My mother was turning a shade of red I hadn't seen her do in a few years.
"I should have realized that--I didn't buy any drink powder. What the hell's in that?" She was shaking Arne at the same time she was trying to put his eyebrows out.
"I thought I told you--I made Bullfrogs. Five pitchers worth. It's my best drink recipe: ginger ale and Alcool." That explained a lot, like why everything in the back yard, and not just the barbecue, seemed to be spinning. My mother called a cab for the Andersons and April, and went to get more first aid related equipment for Arne. Arne, though, had jumped back over the gate in a cloud of dry ice. My father checked for gas leaks and then sent Charles Wallace inside. My mother helped me up to bed and left a liter of water on my nightstand.