Blasted heath

Duncan said he'd come along to Niagara Falls, and that he would meet me and Charles Wallace in front of the convenience store. Once he got there, we bought bus tickets from Dante (he was talking to Randal the video store guy about Star Wars again, and was kind of irritated when we wanted to buy tickets). The bus itself arrived a few minutes later.
The bus driver made sure we weren't going to the casino, saying that he couldn't have underage gambling going on. By the way the rest of the bus passengers looked, "underage gambling" meant "gambling under the age of 65." The other passengers insisted that Duncan and I sit in the front, so they could keep an eye on us. "Dangerous lice-ridden teenagers," they called us. Charles Wallace just enjoyed having a good view of the road.
The bus dropped us off at the foot of Clifton Hill, near the casinos. Duncan, Charles Wallace and I went to the gift shop by the Falls to call Arne. I had the phone, and was trying to go somewhere quiet in the shop, but the surly cashier was for some reason talking to a box of smoked salmon and I had trouble getting a signal anyway. Charles Wallace kept on saying that I was stupid for trying to make a confidential phone call near the Falls anyway, and Duncan wanted to get away from the cashier. I gave up and we walked out to Oakes Garden, and I put the call in to Arne.
"May I speak to Violet Agarn?"
"Good, you're here. Meet me at the Movieland Wax Museum, near the horror movie gallery in the back." Then Arne hung up. I told Duncan and Charles Wallace where we were going, and we headed up Clifton Hill. We stood out from the rest of the tourists, especially since Charles Wallace was in a suit in case Arne needed him on stage.
The Movieland Wax Museum was halfway up the hill. We paid admission, hoping pathetically that Arne would pay us back, and we went to the horror movie gallery in the back. There was a really bad waxwork of Lizzie Borden near the exit sign, and I walked over to it. Duncan and Charles Wallace stayed over by the Wolfman scene.
"All right, Arne, we're here. What's going on?" Lizzie Borden put down her axe.
"Wow, you are good. Have you got the envelope?" I said yes, and started to hand it to him. "No, not here. Meet me in a half hour at the House of Lancaster, near the pool tables in the back. I'll explain everything." Arne then walked out the emergency exit.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," I said to Duncan and Charles Wallace after telling them where we'd be meeting Arne next. None of us had any idea where the House of Lancaster was, to begin with. We spent the next half hour looking for a telephone booth with a telephone book, and then trying to figure out exactly where the House of Lancaster was in relation to where we were. We ended up walking into it slightly more than a half hour later.
Arne was in the back, hiding by the jukebox near the pool tables. We went over and demanded an explanation. It was getting late, and Duncan had told his mother that he was only going to be gone for the day; as well, Charles Wallace was getting cranky.
Arne started to explain. He had been at the International Association of Illusionists convention, and had met a former associate of a now-famous (on cable television, at least) magician who had some really spectacular tricks. The former associate promised Arne that he'd transfer the plans for two of them to Arne in return for a certain amount of money and the outline of Arne's disappearing lice trick. However, when he was supposed to make the transfer with this person, he didn't show up, but a few magician enforcers did. Arne went on the run, and he said he had no idea what happened to his original contact.
"Illusionists are vicious--remember that," Arne declared. At that point he looked up, and said, "When I give the word, go out the back door." There were two extremely large men in stage gear coming towards us. "Word!" We bailed into the alley.
Arne had us going from dark bar to dark bar, doubling back over our tracks in attempts to foil our pursuers. We would have been safe in one bar, except that the Canada-Sweden hockey game was on, and Arne cheered too much for Sweden and got us thrown out before our chicken wings arrived. Two bars later, Arne started talking about the OPP's new dead person website, and about how many body parts turn up in the Falls. The bar owner threw us out that time. Duncan called his mother to explain where he was so she wouldn't breach him, and Arne said he'd put in a word for Duncan too. Duncan handed the phone to Arne and Mrs. Anderson started yelling several colourful, if accurate, insults at Arne, but ultimately consented to Arne being responsible for getting Duncan home tomorrow. Arne said he knew a motel we could stay in near the highway in case we had to make a quick getaway. We found Arne's car and drove off to the motel. Arne took a room with Duncan, and I was with Charles Wallace. Charles Wallace was more subdued than usual, and went into bed without any arguments. I went out to the ice machine later and found Duncan wandering around.
"Arne snores. It's awful," he said. We went to my room, which was quieter. I woke up several hours later with Duncan gripping me on one side and Charles Wallace on the other.
We started driving back early Sunday morning. Arne was hiding in the front passenger seat, so I had to drive. Unfortunately Arne forgot that one of the conditions of my G1 licence is that I can't drive on 400-series highways or the Queen Elizabeth Way, so we had to go on Highway 8 through what seemed to be every tiny vineyard in Ontario. I didn't realize there were so many farms, dead raccoons, or craft shows in the province. Charles Wallace and Duncan were playing quietly with Charles Wallace's Blackberry all the way back, and didn't argue once. The drive back took about six hours, and by the time we got back to Milborough, Duncan was just sitting stunned in the back seat of the car, mumbling something about how freedom was over-rated. Charles Wallace agreed.