Whether tis nobler

I hate stupid teenage girls who wave their breasts at guys and just smirk. I've just gotten back from Tim Horton's and Duncan's belated birthday-type gathering. Eva spent the whole evening plastering her chest in Duncan's face, with occasional side swipes to Jeremy, who she's supposed to be dating. Jeremy put up with it, and occasionally looked at me sympathetically when Eva's chest made Duncan strain his eyes. Of course, it was a bit of a job to get Duncan to show up anyway.
When I got home from school Charles Wallace called me into his room and showed me the top videos of the day from You Tube. Three of them were of Duncan getting his cell phone eaten by a killer whale at Marineland.
"Fish fone?" I asked. Charles Wallace said that that one was rated #2.
"Only the one with the guy dancing in Dundas Square got ranked higher for the week." I looked at a few others.
"'Jaws Call Home,'oh, and here's one from Japan: 'Baby prank on fish boy.'" At that Charles Wallace ran to leave a message for Duncan about that one. It was getting to be time to go to Tim Horton's, so I walked over to Duncan's house to go over with him. His mother said he was in bed, but I was welcome to see if I could get him out of it. That seemed like an odd thing to say, and an odd place to be at the hour, but I went to his room and found him with the blankets pulled up over his head, face down.
"No, it can't be time for the baby to sleep, no, no..." he said weakly. I told him I didn't have any infants on hand and he had to get up to go to Tim Hortons. He asked me if I'd seen the videos. I said yes, Charles Wallace pointed them out to me. "I've got to move, change my name, I can't go to Barbados anymore, Aunt Perdita's there, I think I'll go to Caracas, or somewhere where they don't speak English or Japanese and no-one has internet access." He was moving, at least, and after a bit I got him out the door and into Tim Hortons, whatever good that did me with Eva wandering about as if she were led by her breasts' sonar.