A confederacy of dunces

Duncan was supposed to meet me over here after school, but he didn't show up. My mother was in early from the office (or late from a shift at the hospital, I'm not sure), and told me that a Michael Patterson called and wanted to thank me personally for the help I gave him on his novel and could I come over to his "temporary domicile" (my mother said those were the precise words) to receive his sincerest gratifications. Whatever. My afternoon was free since Duncan had vanished again, so I walked over to see Michael Patterson.
I thought a lot about Duncan. For once he wasn't all preoccupied at the end of the month. He just seemed kind of distant, like he was in low cloud cover, all January and the change over to February didn't change anything. There weren't going to be any sudden breaks in the weather there. I talked to Jeremy Jones about it a little after Zenobia finished tutoring him this week, but I didn't get to say much since Zapata stormed in to tell him that Eldritch went to see Pan's Labyrinth a fourth time without her.
I got to Michael Patterson's, rang the bell, and Duncan answered.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I could ask the same thing, and I'm going to. What are you doing here? You were supposed to meet me over an hour ago." Duncan started shaking his head.
"Man, oh man, I knew I forgot something. I'm so sorry. Come in. I'm helping April watch the juniors in the rec room." I went in and we passed through a hallway filled with smoke-scented photo albums. April was sitting on a collapsing couch with a blonde haired girl,a really large toddler, a stressed rabbit and a freaking cat.
"Play 'Free Bird' again Auntie April," the little girl said.
"No, we've got guests, Merrie," April said. The little girl ran over to the corner, dragging the toddler along.
"That's ok Auntie April, Robin and Merrie play like Auntie Liz!" Both the children suddenly went into fetal huddles, one grabbing the cat and one grabbing the rabbit.
"April, is Merrie having an allergic reaction? Her lips are really swollen," I said. April sighed and said Merrie just looked like that. Duncan wandered back in at that point. "It's great to see you both, but actually I was supposed to see Michael Patterson. He called my house and my mother took a message. Is he around?"
"He should be. Merrie, where is Attic Guy?" April asked. Merrie got out of her huddle and pointed up.
"Attic Guy?" I said.
"It's a long story," April replied. "Duncan, can you find Mike for me? I've got to calm down Butsy and Shiimsa." Duncan and I went around the house, looking for Michael. Mrs. Patterson was in the back checking the water meter. Duncan walked fast to avoid her.
"Duncan, who do those children belong to?"
"They're Mike's," he said.
"He's got kids? How?" Duncan started to explain. "No, not that kind of how. Isn't he, you know, well..."
"They're his. His wife's at work at the pharmacy right now," Duncan said. Then Michael Patterson came bounding in the room.
"Oh, Miss Larson, I wish to thank you for your expert feminine eye! You are one well appreciated component in the success that is my newly-accepted novel, which will be the stellar attraction in the fall list of Reiner and Browne, Publishers." He started shaking my hand crookedly at that point.
"You're welcome," was all I could say.
"When I have my next opus in utero, I shall certainly engage you and your fine feminine eye and voice to overlook my jottings." I thanked him again. Now I really have to go away to Toronto for university, I thought. Michael wandered off into the kitchen and I was left with Duncan.
"You forgot we had a date?" I asked.
"I'm sorry. April's been really stressed and I came over to jam with her and help her with the kids."
"I'm stressed, too, Duncan. I don't know where I'm going in the fall, Zapata's having daily breakdowns at the tutoring table, and Arne wants to use me as vehicle bait. You could have called, at least." He looked fairly sorry. "Do you want to go to karaoke tonight?" I hoped he wouldn't bring April, but I couldn't say that aloud, especially since April looked stuck with a genetic pool that was loonier than Arne.