The tell tale heart

Love is in the air, like a bed of rotting roses. Compulsory romance waits to entrap us all. It's the week before Valentine's Day. At lunch Zapata stared into space and asked, "What's the most romantic movie you can think of?" Jeremy Jones walked by at that point and Zapata grabbed him and made him sit down, all in one efficient movement.
"Why torture Jeremy with this? Haven't you asked him enough things?" I asked. Jeremy just looked resigned. Zapata saw that neither Zenobia nor I was about to talk romance films so she did.
"I think The English Patient is just so wonderful. I mean, what an enduring love! She changed his entire life! That's so romantic! What's wrong with it?"
"It's full of sand, and it's too bright," Zenobia said.
"And the plane crashed, and she was injured, and he left her in a cave for three years, then came back for the amazing extra plane he had stashed there, and explaining that he was sorry, but he had rehearsal and it was going really well and all the band sounds so good together and they just blend perfectly and he just didn't notice it was oh, a day after the date he was supposed to show up for..." I stopped there since Zapata, Zenobia, and Jeremy were staring at me. "Well, I don't think it's all that romantic a film."